I read the blog post, ‘Rebirth: What we don’t say,’ by The Sage Mama before I had kids, and it meant something to me even then. Here are some beautiful excerpts.
‘My heart was cracked – shattered really and there would be no repairing it. The love that stretched and tore and suckled and broke my sleep was one so profound that nothing could have prepared me for it… The yellow from the canvas of day bled all over the black watercolour of night and time became nothing… I was lost in the curves of my children’ wrists and in the folds of their necks, their startling cries that made me start inaudibly and sent my heart flitting in my chest like a desperate butterfly… When I did get back to me, I was gone. This is the thing women don’t tell each other about motherhood. That you will not see anything the way you used to see it, you will never hear language the way you used to hear it, music, colour, photos, friends, family, career path – nothing came through my transition to motherhood unexamined. Least of all myself.’
In my case the change has been for the better. Each meaning in my life is deeper now. The full post is here.